So every spring, I get a million requests to do love spells. I love doing love spells to bring new love into everyones life. It adds to the upward spiral. Unfortunately, usually what people want is to get a specific person back. Sure, sure, sure the magic can work, but often there should be a whole bunch of questions about why. I am still time crunched.
Before we start, I know many pagans and occultists would classify such magic as strictly black magic. I don't really believe in white or black magic, but it is certainly coercive and it is usually an uphill battle. Why?
Well why did the relationship end? People sometimes know this answer, but often, it is the belief that "DARK MAGIC" casters will get you instant success. That's bullshit. These types of spells are difficult, and for the most part fleeting. The question MUST be asked....
Seriously, why did it end? Relationships rarely just end, do they. Rarely do people just decide, oh man, fuck it with no reason. It comes down to what needs were unmet, what was unsaid, how did they feel or not feel?
It comes down to the experience of you and the story of the relationship. Realize, that does not mean one person is right or wrong, or that there is any correctness to the perception, but Stories and the story a person holds of a relationship, is VERY Powerful.
The stronger the story, and the more emotive it is, the more the resistance.
Here's the full disclosure. Have I done ritual magic and succeeded at getting people back together. Yes for a while, and it always requires maintenance work (AKA boosting). Constant bleeding in of energy. Now, have I done this type of magic for myself. NO. Simply put, if someone does not want to be with me: FUCK THEM (I am happily with a person who I do love). But seriously, as you do more and more self-esteem work, really, shouldn't this be the answer even if it is an amicable split? Now that isn't to say there aren't relationships where I was in the wrong, but even the concept of right and wrong does not matter. It's how well you can stay connected. Once severed, what comes back often looks like a frankenstein echo of the past.
When people come to me and say, I don't know why it ended or why the other person left, do I believe them? Let's all start with honesty, a relationship probably ended for a good reason(s). Those reasons were there before any "bring them back" spell. The anger or frustration or unmet needs will still be there, regardless of whether or not a "bring back" spell is cast.
So you hire someone to get the person back, but does that release all the negative emotions acquired along the way? And a spell like that might last only until there is a reminder of why the breakup occurred. Most of the time the reminder occurs well before the person actually gets back together with a person, it's in that phase when they start thinking, you know, I had a lot of good times with this person and then boom, a person says something or does something that really reminds the other person of the whole spiral of why it ended.....
Why does this happen? Well, the person requesting the service hasn't changed. What is a better way to start?
- Healing work on yourself. No seriously, on both you and the other person (if that is even possible).
- Detachment and Perspective: Detachment.... WHAT really Andrieh? But ..."love" this person. Love is a funny thing, isn't it. Feelings can be quite intense. Detachment allows you to ask the serious questions needed to go forward with this type of work
Do I love the person, or do I love the feeling... More so, does this person represent something I love (security, care-giving, material support) or that I would really, really like to avoid (loneliness, isolation, etc). The feelings are powerful and tremendously moving, but detachment, that really lets you distill down what is the need that is getting expressed by the desire to get back with the person. I believe it is absolutely critical to understand that need. If it is a self-esteem issue, then let's work on the self-esteem issue, because a relationship based on those kinds of needs usually does have problems.
Some fast Detachment techniques:
Look at the situation with you and the other person from 500 ft up (literally imagine that). Visualize the timeline of how things happened through the relationship from the 3rd person 500 ft perspective and write down the details. Try to do this without emotion, just to see what insights you might get.
Also try to Meditate, allowing the intense feelings to wash over you and fade so you can see what is underneath... That is easier said then done, but often when you meditate, letting the intense emotions drip out into the ground, more intense emotions that get to the root of the need pop up. (I could write on this on and on and on ... and will). Just see, feel, and hear the intense emotions draining down into the earth. Use a divination to get further, and often uncomfortable insights about the situation. Meditate on those insights.
If you're into the macabre, try this Buddhist one from a friend:
imagine your flesh falling off..ur a skeleton- imagine it white/glowing then imagine it turn to dust...Well yeah that definitely promotes detachment.
Now if it is truly, there is a connection, before any magic we must ask:
What went terribly wrong, if it is not a need based reaction, what happened?
Sometimes the answer from that detached point of view is in fact external events. Things like death in the family, job loss or other life altering situations, can really fuck with the psychology of the person. Things spiral and the relationship ends, or it just so shakes them up that it ends.
Sometimes the realization is that the person was never the person you imagined them to be, sometimes well they were just not so attached... There are lots of variations, but the greater detachment allows for clarity and healing. Again, I mostly believe that is a first step. Sure, sure sure, I can do magic and many people will claim it is permanent when they do a "get back together" spell (those spell casters are totally fucking lying, the permanence depends on you), but the truth is that magic is just a push. It gets in the subconscious mind of the people and mixes up the energies and potentially memory weighting of the person to favor the connection. That does not mean the original problems go away either. Oh sure, you can get with the person.
If you keep doing love spells on the person, it becomes like a binding. In reality, it's more like an artificially created emotional response. They become something like a shell.
That's right a shell.
You get what you want, they react appropriately, and all is good right? Kinda like a robot or android. Sounds kinda empty, and that again points to why the self-work and healing is needed before the decision to do a "get back together" spell. 9.99/10 I would bet most people would do the self-healing and say, F@#@ getting back together and instead, as I recommend, opt for drawing new love to their life.
After all that, perhaps spellwork of this type is the right answer, but usually not.
I love this article!! It also enabled me to see something I didn't before! Thank you!
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