• Magic of Andrieh Vitimus

    This is the personall blog on magic, occultism and the practical work of Andrieh Vitimus. This shall be less intellectualized mutterings and much more practical including my own work. Not everything will be posted here, we still keep some secrets to ourselves.

Hypnosis, Hoodoo, Vodou, Energy Work, Reiki, Divination, Fae, Chaos Magic

Saturday, September 30, 2017

The Mindfullness Drug and other Prison Wardon's of a Profoundly sick society.

Working on this  ( It will take a while).

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Crisis Magic Part II: Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

These notes are from Convocation a few years ago.  Enjoy.  This outlines some of the broad brush strategies for surviving a crisis using magical operations and what skillsets you should have if the there is a catastrophic absence of  order or a catastrophic increase in order.  Some of our more lighter brethren may be offended.

This was the pdf notes for a no-holds barred and honest discussion about what you need to do in those situations.  Honest, and from my experience.  Its a rough Draft of a presentation.

Given how many of us are feeling, this seems app as hell.

PDF Summary of the presentation.

PDF of what skillbuilding to use, and how to use Hands On Chaos magic.


Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Cleansing and Clearing Meditation (Video)

Meditation for the new year ( testing out webinar software), but this is still a powerful #meditation to cleanse, heal, and clear the pain of the last year and absorb the lessons.

We talk a little about clearing and lessons and dive into the meditation around 18:00.  This includes a fair amount of chakra work, and the meditation is very powerful.  It should work even now in March to bring the good to the rest of 2016.  In reality, I will probably move this blog over to primarily video blog ( with links) outside of the tales of magic.

If you dig some of this, we go much further into these kind of thinking and many more exercises in the Shapeshifting 365 Course which we are restarting in April.  Join in Now.

We have implemented a monthly payment plan of only 29.99,  merely the cost of eating out once a month, for a epic level of transformation and many tools that SIMPLY are not in any other books.

The course includes over 150 exercises, 6 videos, some mp3s..... and the people who have done the exercises have 

Transformed their Lives, and you can too.

People in the course have:

  • Found new Love ( a couple people)
  • Increased their sales by over 40-50% ( for them that was thousands of dollars, THOUSANDS).
  • Completed PH.d  and masters dissertations that they had previously struggled with.
  • Gained greater happiness and had achieved greater healing results then they had ever before.
Now we have a discounted one time payment of (299.00) and if you take a screen shot of you posting something positive and good on any social media about my book, meditations or any other goods/service and message me at andriehvitimus@gmail.com with that screen shot,   
I will give you a code for 33% off which will be $200.33 ( Of course, hail Eris).  That discount is only good till April 1st, so.... 

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Stories of Magic: It wasn't THAT long of trip

"It wasn't THAT long of trip."
No. A short jaunt and I was trying to go small on the spellwork. Not that my intention that makes a difference at times. I brought my coffee and candles to the ancestors and Pierogi. Some of the ancestors love Pierogi, love it.

I walked up to the altar purposefully. I can always feel their presence, just outside of where my mind can reach even in the waking day. Maybe, it was the frankincense pouring into the air from the resin filling the sea of the empty space. Maybe, it was the candles flickering wildly in the still air despite the lights being on. Maybe it was the right alignment of the planets. I walked up to that altar purposefully, and I asked for help to deal with an annoyance.  I can pay my rent, everyone is fine, school is ok... the family is doing well.  Just sometimes, the annoyances get under your skin.

There is a guttural vibe that washes over you when spirits wish to communicate. It is hard to describe, maybe it starts with a rumbling in the stomach or a whisper in the ears. Oh they knew what I was asking, but you could almost feel them smirk for a long delayed second. Looking in the mirror, and feeling the love, there was no malevolence towards me. Everyone thinks the ancestors are oh so serious, but I know how many of mine would secretly put together charms in the 1950’s when they first got here. In the old country, Ukraine, people would come to them. Monsters and Saints. Nobles and Kings, walking the stretches in the deep Carpathian mountains.

In that flash, I reached out to the stick I offered to one of the older ancestors. I have not had time to wood burn it yet, nor get the natural wool cloth to decorate it, but I got the stick. He watches me day in and day out in my perm haze of sleep deprivation, studying, magic and work. This time when I picked up that stick, my body shook.

For a second, things went black. The energy surged and singed around me. Mists forming out of the darkness. Ancestor after ancestor joining in. Like riding on sea of cracking gold, a chaotic symphony of colors destroying, creating as the threads of life itself start to sound and change their notes for my benefit. We kept going. We were doing, we were one. At the end, my ancestor reached up and patted my on the shoulder. He was still smirking. This smirk was I just taught you something smirk. The precursor to those aha moments that come on the path. The scene faded, and I was back at the altar. I did not know how much time had passed.

Shaken, as if I touched a live wire, I knew something was done. I did not have hours to sit at a wall, processing. Now a days, that is how the magic works, get it down, ground fast and get back to what needs doing. I called a friend. I gave them no information just asked for a reading to do some confirmation work on what the impact was. I didn’t even tell the friend I had done work.

He stopped halfway in and said “Wait, the spirits said you walked up and asked, you already know the impact.” Just like that. He was right, I most certainly did.

----- Andrieh's Stories of Magic that is his life.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Refocusing the Blog.

So its been no secret that I have not been blogging like I should.  Between grad school and the shapeshifting course, all my time has been eaten up.

Plus that, I like interacting with my readers but I dislike the he-said-she-said-he-said blog wars about some minutia point or about various culture wars or even just trying to steal the thunder for publicity.  It just isn't me.  I know this is a way to get "noticed", but really they get personal and I am wholly uninterested in conflict with any other authors.  It's not worth my time and I do not really see it as "discussion".  I will get over that and "discuss things" next year.

But I have found a few areas, that I really want to explore and will move that way.

First, weird shit always happens in ritual to me.  Its so common place that I honestly have to take a step back.  So much so, that I have had to step back and write fiction about it.  The first attempt at that was with the Good Luck Bath.  Normally, I won't be selling anything with the fiction.  Most people do not realize, I was a writer first, and then fell into being a magician.  Getting acceptable at magic well ate so much of my time.

Now I need those tools to get out of the normalization of the weird shit.  I know "weird shit is happening" is never a problem, but it is a problem when it causes the mystery of of it all to get well.. dull.  I have been really busy, and the weirdness makes things dull.  Fictionalizing it, is a way to see it from a voice of wonder.   A place of wildness, and weirdness.

The words matter and the magic in the words I am returning to.  I saw I lost 3 subscribers, so I hope the rest of you will like those stories.   I will be doing a lot more of those stories.  Even if I am selling something, I guarantee there are real lessons embedded in the "fiction".  Real lessons for those who know to look.

Secondly, I will be doing more combining magic and cooking, cooking being a hobby of mine.   I plan to post various recipes and ritual pictures ( that means FOOD PORN), as well as the intensions I used with the ritual embedding.  Mostly, that will be just cooking with real focus and intention.   BUT I am going to go get a "ritual Apron to take on a magical persona", while I am cooking.  Mostly for everyone's amusement, especially my own.

Third, I will continue to post technique based posts, but if I see a topic goes beyond 5000 words over a coupe posts, I will bind this up in an ebook, so those posts my disappear.

Fourth,   While I have a proof of concept with the Sleepy Time Meditations and Physical Exercise based magic, I am going to go back to these for fun.

Fifth, maybe a few general posts.

I do not know if I can keep up with a weekly schedule, but I will try to get one out every two weeks.   Know that I appreciate you my fans, and look forward to connecting in the new year!!!

Monday, January 25, 2016

The Good Luck Bath

The slow creeping shadows of dusk and then quickly night enveloped me.  Only the silvery moonlight bouncing off the chilling droplets of mist guide your footprints.  I need to get the water from the stream.  

Usually, the stream is only a couple inches deep.  Over the last week, the deluge of rain, soaked the area.  The stream was high.   Normally, you could see the areas to skip across it.   So many prayers uttered at the stream.  Today, the river carved into the landscape 4 feet cliffs created me in the moonlight.   I can’t see where the stream ends and there are some deep pockets.

I connected deeply.  The familiar whispers the leap from the stream whisper ecstasy and sorrow.  My body always shakes and the cold cuts to the bone.  Sometimes the mist envelops you.  These spirits are my friends, but they have tricked me before.  Today, the snow falls gently.  Today I do not know how deep the stream is and the moon’s silver rays bounce hither to and from tricking my eyes.

The spirits know.  My knees hurt from the cold.  I am scared a little with the stream so overflooded. They can feel it, but this is their stream.  TheY grasp me whispering.  Draw the water right here.   The ground is solid, my knees still not.  I lay on the ground holding my heavy wrought iron pot to collect the water.   I pay the spirits for the blessed water, I can feel their smile through me, with me almost.  They miss me, and graduate school takes so much of my time.
I walk back to our basecamp.  It is getting colder now.  I need to make a fire.  I have a student with me.  We try to cheat and dose the logs with rubbing alcohol.  Of course, even with tinder, they don’t light.  We can both feel the laughter around us.  The tangible unmistakable presence all around us  watching and meddling for their amusement.   Their shadowy fingers move in and between us.  At least we won't have to call them forward.
We start over.  This time we do it right.  1 lonely match.  Tinder.  Dry leaves.  
A blessed fire is an unusual thing.  You can’t just order it or really demand.  You have to entice it and it is very much alive.  These are things of spirits.   A temporary imbuing of life and spirit from the essence of fire.  We are making magic here, the bath needs to grow in the living fire.  We coax, we connect, we pray.   Piece by piece the fire builds and its spirit grows.  We build it to be a great fire.  The flames and the warmth reaches out kissing and caressing us, lovingly.  The fire is born.
Still, we have most of the ingredients from the forest.  Some from the store, we have prayed over for seemingly hours re-enlivening them..  We know this will work.   One ingredient remains.  Pine.  

I know this forest and on one of the many hills, way in the distance, a tree hums.  This tree is larger than the rest.  It hums gleefully and willingly, shining almost as if the moonlight itself dusted the tree with stardust for the great beyond.  We know this is the tree.  This is tree needed to change luck.  6 of the baths are accounted for, but not the 7th.  This bath, well maybe it is yours.  I have to go alone.  
I walk up to the tree, shadows dance whisfully around me.  I have been in this place before even though I have never talked to this tree.  The essence of welcome drags me deeper.  Talking to spirits for me is never straightforward, it is never linear.  The spirit of this tree is older than I am. Always the pools of memory, reflect and tear.  Flashes, insights, deeper outside the waking world.  I am in the dreamland and this spirit is here.
This tree is right.  It is the tree today that will change the bad luck to good luck.   I fall to a knee.  The tree has to work on me too.  Weaving in and out of me like strands outside of time echoing when two spirits communicate.  Weaving the gold, and taking the lead.  For a moment, we are entwined.  I and the tree are one.  We are.  We give the needles for the bath, we break the bad luck, we bring the good.
The mists keep rising.  I shake off the moment.  I have what I need and there's still so much to do. The spirit of the fire still strongly beams.  It too is gathering strength.  More shadows dance and move.  The slow rhythm of the moonlight and the shadows speeds up.  We are in the rhythm.  We cannot back stop.  We are in the dance.   I put my blessed cast iron pot right into the living fire.  I pull out our rattles.  The chanting has started, we fast become lost in the sea of infinite.   The dreaming is here. 

The spirits are here. 

The ritual has begun.

Make the story yours, get your good luck bath now.  There is only one left for you. 

Click here to buy it now.

This already Sold Sorry.

Yes this did happen, and yes this is what went into your bath.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Recent Video Interview... Andrieh on the Leak Project..

So I know I have been profoundly negligent on blogging. Literally all my resources are going to the shapeshifting course, graduate school and work... really averaging about 4 hours of sleep... Yep thats how its rolling... but I did this interview on last Friday. I was a little tired, for those in Toastmasters a little to high on Um and Ah counting... but surprisingly this really poignant on so many topics that I have been really thinking about lately.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Shapeshifting CONTEST: You can win a free seat in our Shapeshifting 365 course.

I am once again running the shapeshifting course ( more details on that), and this time for a year. Once again, someone has paid it forward so I can offer a contest to you, so someone of need can get in for free. Would you like this gifted spot, here is how to get a shot at it.
  1. Write a little blurb about how you used the techniques of Hands on Chaos Magic and generally love the book.
  2. If you don't have Hands On Chaos Magic, write a blurb on how with specifics one of my courses, rituals, or meditations changed your life for the better.
  3. Post 1 or 2 on facebook, tumblr, or your blog ( other public places are perfectly ok).
  4. Tag @Andriehvitimus in your post and email at andriehvitimus@gmail.com with the url of your post.
I will pick the person who gets in as the Gift, per divinations.

One of my students who was part of some of my in person and private shapeshifter work paid it forward ( as I encourage all of my students to do), and traded with me for someone in the sphere of the internet to get gifted into the shapeshifter course. Thats a $199 Value gift for the contest. Why? Cause my students kick ass like that.

Good Luck!!!

In case you missed the original announcement, here are some more details on the shapeshifting course.

STARTING September 12. 2015
Rocket towards your new life via the power and transformation while investing in this shapeshifting course.  Andrieh takes you on a journey of self-discovery through rigorously tested methods.   You might ask yourself, how can this course help you?
Supercharge your powers of persuasion.  Amaze yourself with your new connections.
Gain wealth perspective and enjoy the fruits of greater prosperity.
Surge with confidence and fortitude.  Learn to nail interviews, sales, even speeches.  Watch as resistance melts powerfully before you.
Savor your life, as you increase your pleasure. Taste your increased happiness.   Change yourself to have mind-blowing orgasms and more powerful sex.
Enjoy deeper and more powerful emotional connections with your friends and your loved ones.
Expand beyond limitations and shift to quickly adjust to any situation.

Over 46 Weekly lessons. 6 live webinars. which will be recorded (each including an in session hypnotically assisted ceremony).
Magically we will cover the following topics and more:
Glamours. Self-Transformation. Radical Detachment Through Continuous Transformation. Astral And Etheric Shapeshifting. Shapeshifting And Information Sorcery. Energy Shifting And Energy Transformation. Vitality Building Internal And External Alchemy/Body Transformation. Reality Tunnel Transformation. Direct Noetic Spiritual Transmission. Personality Reconstruction. Influence And Persuasion Magic. Useful Self-Transformation Techniques. Paradigm Shifting As Shapeshifting. The Beauty Of Self-Mutation.   And this just scratches the surface!!!!!
Join the Journey Now.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Your friend Daily practice, and the magical30.com

 So it get to do a cheater blog. because well, well lots of reasons.

So I restarted the magical 30 effort.  You should check it out here, http://www.magical30.com

With the last magical30, I decided to write a book with Stephanie Raiser, and submitted a article for the Anthology of Sorcery II, with an article of Sorath.

It makes a real difference when you do the daily work.  Because of school, work, and other real big changes in my life, getting to do the daily work became hard.   Sure I use alot of NLP tricks to dive into trance states quickly, and get the job done, but I miss the one leg out and one leg in.  I think lots of people will agree and understand what I mean.  Plus, I want to play with the magic, which I do not always get to do on such tight deadlines.  So where to begin?

Meditation and Breathwork of course.... WE all can get better at this even if we are great at it.  Its one of those, kick yourself in the ass and work toward mastery :)

So come join me at the http://magical30.com  and if you are so inclined, I am working out some meditative walking techniques based on Taoist principles.  If you think occultists are stuck up, talk to some "Tai Chi" experts.  Actually if you want to see all my magical30 posts, here they are.   So yes one blog a week and I am working on more substantive blogs soon.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Innvocation of Chao-Kundalini

This is a technique was originally published on my old web site. I had been developing to raise Kundalini energy, and give it a real boost more then just working with the Root Chrakra, and condensing down the time to raise kundalini fully. Warning this is quite effective, and goes back to the time I was working with Peter Carroll's Invocation of Chaos a lot more of the time. I should do that more often now.

2 warnings. Drink lots of water, second, remember kundalini can cause issues if you have to much of it. Water helps.

I usually start with some body warm up exercises, aka Tai chi And Gigong then perform a some sort of banishing. As this is a ritual of self-alchemy and self power, I do not usually state my intent ( this is more of a gigong like exercise).

I will mentally start repeating the Invocation of Chaos as follows from Peter Carroll.

Invocation of Chaos 

I Reign Over You Saith

The Dragon Eagle of the Primal Chaos 

I Am the First the Highest That Live In the First Aether 

I am the Terror of the Earth the Horns of Death 

Pouring Down the Fires of Life On the Earth 

This last line cannot be translated.

English just provided for amusement sake.  Enochian is the way to go.

I keep internally repeating this, while Visualizing a Chaos Star over my root charka, actually more right where my Vestigial tail would be correct ( harking back to reptilian mind).

Focus all attention and all feelings, visualizations and sound sensations on that point while externally or internally ( if you need to) intoning the Invocation of chaos. Do not just chant the words, it should be as if each word rings through your whole body with like a deep Tibetan bell. This does awaken the flame snake of kundalini very quickly for me.
As I am directly my focus ( and as the energy people would say the energy of the Invocation of Chaos) directly into the root chrakra the snake will start to unravel. This feels great.

So you keep going with the focusing on that spot, redrawing chaos stars and doing the invocations of chaos... at this point, imagine, feel, and see the flame snake rising up through the spine. Kundalini rises somewhat slowly, allow this to pass through and up each chrakra.

I always perceive this is sound as a type of roaring or rushing. When the serpent reaches the top of your head, perform one more invocation of chaos to really feel your body filled with that energy.

Two key points. From my experience of doing this exercise, this is clearly not kundalini energy, in my humble opinion it has some very unique properties. First, the Enochian will activate Kundalini thats for sure, but this mixes with that Chaos vibe so common in the combining/dissolving the opposites. It makes the Kundalini energy far more potentiated and more dissolving in how it rips the blocks through your system. 

 If you call the Kundalini with the goddess Shakti, there usually is a certain level of softness, lovingness and mercy. This is the opposite and this is harsher, more rough, generally less forgiving. It however works fast to build up magical power, with a pull toward non-duality states ( something I have not found with straight Kundalini work). That means, you might need aftercare and self-care.

Now, from Gigong and yoga, its actually considered a real bad idea to keep the snake flowing up and just let that energy in your head. The next part of the exercises uses some fairly kewl Gigong techniques, modified by Andrieh Vitimus, yours truly.

Once you have the snake fully rising. Pull in and raise your sphincter muscle. As you breath in deeply, imagine condensing all the kundalini energy you have built up into your bones. Use as many of your senses as possible to imagine taking all the built up Kundi-Chaos energy and condensing them down into your bones. This helps if you practice some body awareness ( btw one thing people usually visualize wrongly, is the spin is closer to the back of your body then the middle :).

On Breathing out, release your splinter muscle, but hold on to the energy while condensing energy in the bones. The easiest way to imagine this is to feel, see, hear, and know your bones being different as the meditation takes you. Do the breaths until you have absorbed all the Chao Kundalini Energy, and condensed them into your bones ( this is a relatively safe place to condense energy and this energy is more volatile). Leave it in your head, and you might well wake up with a headache or worse.

Let's Make your upward Spiral HAPPEN.

Book a trial session now, use the code START-THE-JOURNEY for a 50% first time discount.

Are you ready to activate your full potential and already like Andrieh's style, We are now offering a 4 pack of coaching sessions to create a concentrated month of transformation and self-shapeshifting towards that awesome moment of your success.  Book Now.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Self-Love and Self Compassion Part 1

Every once and a while I get an urge to write a blog that is highly academic. Really, I have always wanted to be a Professor (apart from the poor treatment of non-tenured faculty in modern academia).

First, understand this will be a post about self-compassion. The co-opting of the Buddhist religion by just about everyone is probably a fair critique (McDonagh, 2015). In fact, it probably is the most understated form of cultural appropriation. Even in academic settings, self-compassion is often framed as a type of mindfulness. You can separate out the technique from the religion, of course, as we will do here. However, we need to realize that these techniques tend to lead to certain changes. Of course, while I like Taoism a hell of a lot more than Buddhism (even though they are sometimes related), the perspective I am writing from here is one of a Chaos Magician with heavy Taoist leanings (for the purposes this blog).

So much of what is comprised within modern occult materials leads to the "Love Thyself" refrain that it is very difficult to know what exactly that even means in practice. This sentiment is often coupled with the idea that “Self-Esteem” is key. Certainly the Left Hand Path frames the sharpening of your ego as a primary goal, as well as achievement. It turns out that academically researched, “Self-Esteem” in the best of cases is rather a difficult idea. Self-esteem always has a component of comparison. There is good self-esteem and a bad self-esteem. It’s a self-valuation. If you are on the “bad” or “poor” self-esteem side of things, you are told to go improve your self-esteem, which usually means some sort of achievement. That is not the easiest goal, if you are in a bad place (Breines, J. G., & Chen, S., 2012).

Magicians are doubly hexed by this whole “self-esteem” notion. Some magics, especially sigils, incorporate a substantive level of belief and confidence-effects into the formula of efficacy. (Really, it’s a part of all magic, it’s just that spirit-based magicians tend to want to downplay it.) Another important point which is often given lip service is the notion of detachment. Peter Carroll pretty clearly tried to appropriate Buddhist techniques, but that’s ok since Aleister Crowley clearly tried to appropriate Hindu techniques via Yoga. Both philosophies involve detachment, but why and how does this relate to the idea of “Self-Love?

Let's start with an exercise:

Your Friend:

People are generally far more compassionate toward their friends than they are toward themselves. So, we are going to “clone” ourselves and literally become our own best friend. Through the magic of perceptual shifting, we can do this whenever we need to. Imagine in all five of your senses that you are talking to a friend about their problems, limitations and failures. You might notice that you take a certain tone, body language etc. Now, imagine a friend talking to you about your problems and limitations, trying to work on solution orientated discourse, not just complaining about the problems and issues.

You are working with a friend who does not judge you and who truly wants to help you, on actionable steps that you can take. Have a real discussion in your communication with your internal representation of your friend. Notice in your meditation where you place them in space. 

Now have a discussion with yourself.

Does that situation go as well as the constructive session with the compassionate friend? How does your tone of voice change toward yourself?

Now, as a trick, try to imagine a version of yourself AS the compassionate friend. Have a conversation with yourself as that friend. Become that friend to yourself. Remember, you have already imagined yourself as the compassionate friend, so why do you think it is more difficult using your five senses to experience that version of yourself? What other insights do you get from doing this?

As a final part of the exercise, try to have yourself talk to yourself from this position of compassion and the perspective that everything is just an experience. How does reducing that experience down to information input and not associating with that experience help you detach, improve and grow?

Did you feel more motivated after talking to your compassionate friend with a solution-oriented view, or would you feel more motivated by talking to yourself in a harsh manner? Most people, as it turns out, respond much better to the compassionate solution-orientated approach (Breines, J. G., & Chen, S., 2012). This fact is not at all intuitive and goes against our "go-to" approach in the west, aka Work Harder/Do Harder”. Breines points out the fact that this harsh self-talk increases stress which actually decreases performance. In the worst cases, it becomes crippling.  

Surely, when you do not have self-esteem, the language of the Self changes. These might sound familiar, "It’s just how I am", or worse, the "I can't".  Some "experts" suggest changing the “can't” to “won't”, but in reality, there are real limits to the pain-based self-change ideals. Really, it all goes back to the cultural lie of “work harder= success”.  It is an American lie that infects our self-being.

Psychology (and often, occultists) would often say you need high self-esteem for magic. The rise of self-compassion (directly appropriated from eastern religions) is, in fact, a reaction to the holes in the self-esteem theories. The research says that self-esteem always involves comparison to other (internal or external) reference points. There is always a measure of "how good you feel about yourself" in relation to other states. The comparison eventually leads to "not-as-good" ideas and voices.  Essentially, the 
comparisons effectively act to tear down self-esteem if a person's situation changes. Eventually this reduces self-confidence as well.

Self-Compassion vs. Self Pity
Goldstein points out that "Because one’s awareness is totally consumed by subjective reactions, one cannot step back from the situation and adopt a more objective perspective. In contrast, self-compassion requires that individuals do not over- identify with their emotions, so that there is ‘‘mental space’’ in which to extend oneself kindness and recognize the broader human context of one’s experience" (Goldstein & Michaels, 1985; Scheff, 1981).  

Neff goes on and says "Self-compassion, therefore, involves being touched by and open to one’s own suffering, not avoiding or disconnecting from it, generating the desire to alleviate one’s suffering and to heal oneself with kindness. Self-compassion also involves offering nonjudgmental understanding to one’s pain, inadequacies and failures, so that one’s experience is seen as part of the larger human experience"  (Neff, 2003).

Self-Pity then becomes the state in which we DO overly identify with a subjective reaction (usually, at the basis of a comparison.)  Let's leave out the kindness explanations and describe this in a more Taoist way.  Is the experience which we are attached to any more intrinsically real then the opposite experience?  Are any of the experiences more valid in themselves?  No, they are all just experiences. Or, from the NLP perspective, they are just information. Is experiencing the pain and suffering any more valid than the joy? Not really, although the joy feels better, it is not more valid, as all experience is valid.

Self-pity is not adaptive to the situation and does not allow for a person to make objective judgements about the situation, only subjective judgments about themselves. The judgement does not mean it’s more valid in the pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps version of negative 
reinforcement, self-harshness, and self-pity. The bootstrap mythos would say, “Well, just believe you can do it and get off your ass!” but this harsh self-aggression only serves to disempower the individual even further. On the flip side, one can easily see how a person might "Get off their ass and DO" and it would only serve as a temporary aid in their self-esteem. In fact, it might be just enough of a boost that the person would stop taking in new information and thus, sooner or later, crash.

This comes down to different strategies of motivation, only one of which is sustainable. The “beat yourself up” (cause yourself pain to remind yourself to avoid similar situations) and the “move toward positivity in self-analysis” methods. The bootstrap- “beat yourself up” method might work in the short term, but in the long term it pretty consistently associates the "ego" or self-voices with pain. The subconscious mind's goal is the avoidance of pain (aka survival instinct) so the real lesson it learns is to ignore you eventually. Any changes you want to make = pain, so they must be bad. This path of the inner critic is by far hugely destructive and it is something we struggle with for a long time even as magicians. There are, of course, people who say "Nah, that ain’t me".

Ask them how much they drink. 

Remember, pain reduction is the goal of the subconscious mind and what does alcohol do?

This of course means that the opposite is true as well. Positive reinforcement is the enhancement of the relationship between the self and the subconscious mind 

Exercise 2:  That Inner Voice.

Repeat Exercise 1 doing only the last step. Think about and question yourself on how your motivation changes. Are you more or less motivated when using the positive self-compassion model, or more motivated by the self-critic? 

Repeat the last part of the exercise, drawing that compassionate self into your throat and asked it to fill every part of you with that compassion and self-love.

Although that is a fast modification, there is a lot more you could do once you began amplifying those sensations of self-compassion via the methods detailed in Hands on Chaos Magic.

On Ego-Destruction
The “kill your ego” this and “kill your ego” that of the new age verbiage has always irritated me. You cannot kill your ego. However, your "ego", (the story of the “I”) CAN certainly be ill-adapted to current situations. Really, pride, self-confidence, and self-respect can be utilized to good effect, but the attempt to be humbler then thou, well it is best summed up with this and this.  Simply put, you need your ego to survive and most human communication is about influence. That said, sometimes we can get stuck on an experience and overly identify with that experience in a way that is non-adaptive. People will act in ways that are self-destructive. Of course, if you go tell yourself "STOP that shit, you asshat", well, that’s counterproductive. On the flip side, people who claim to be without ego are lying. They just have mutated their ego to fit a certain set of expectations based on the culture of the new age market. Essentially, their ego and self-esteem are based in how well they conform to that particular world view (see the comparison).  The important thing, (and self-compassion seems to generate this) is that "Self-compassion increases self-improvement by allowing a belief that elements of mind are changeable and improves motivation and success outcomes" (Neff, 2003). It’s not the end of the ego transformation that really is important, only that the ego can change and transform. That fact makes the motivation to change and how you do it all the more important.

Sometimes Stress is a Sign: a further cog in the machine
Before going into another exercises, let's not forget these technologies are appropriated. Mostly, I might say “so what” to that, but we have to take a look at the greater culture surrounding the appropriations (and more importantly, how that affects the magic.)

Mindfulness means you produce more. There are countless Silicon Valley companies, including Google, using mindfulness and self-compassion techniques. Is it really compassion they are pushing? Compassion for what?  Meditation and these types of exercises lower stress which improves performance. Certainly you could transform yourself to be more present and more self-compassionate in line with what you need to do to succeed at a job. But what is going on here?  You are transforming yourself to be a better, more productive slave for a corporation. Google throws around nice terms like “search within”, and many Silicon Valley companies have people meditate.
The truth is that teaching people to meditate and accept their lot a) Reduces stress so lowers medical bills. b)  Allows the corporate master to eke out just a little more of the person's time and energy for productivity. c) Builds a more compliant slave.

Does this sound like freedom?  NO! It is hypnotic, meditatively induced compliance.

Sometimes you are stressed out and your internal voices are all so pissed off BECAUSE THEY SHOULD BE!  They are the internal warning signs that something ain't right. Sure, a lot of the time these angry internal voices are in fact internalizations of external people but sometimes you need to step up and listen.

While new age philosophies will often deride anger, as a magician sometimes we have to ask what the anger is really about, because sometimes you should be angry!


Exercise 3:  That Inner Critic: A Chao-Alchemy Voice Transformation

Silencing the Inner Critic is one of the hardest things to do. It is also (mostly) not possible. However, taking a page from Hands On Chaos Magic, a few NLP techniques, and a dash of self-hypnosis, we can turn the corner on the Inner Critic.

First, the Inner Critic is more like a collective than a singular voice. You will have more than one of them. If you have ever talked yourself out of an idea, or harshly criticized yourself, you are well familiar with the Inner Critic.

Relax. Breathe. Center.

Remember a time that you were really harsh on yourself. Or, imagine what it is like when you are overly harsh on yourself. Pay attention to your own body language, including posture, eye movement, and other cues. Notice how you talk to yourself. Hear the language you use, the tone, the pitch, the speed. Notice what pronouns you use when you talk to yourself. Pay attention to how you structure statements and the cadence of speech. You may notice that this originates within a certain spatial area around you or from some specific position within your body. The voice(s) will probably make you feel uncomfortable. KEEP GOING.

Move the voice to your throat area. Notice any changes. Force the voice to use the “we” or “I” pronoun. Notice how the voice changes. Despite the discomfort, ask the voice what positive purpose it serves.

Every internal voice, even negative voices from the subconscious, will have a positive intention. Usually the negative voices are trying to keep you away from some sort of pain.   

The hard part is that you have to express compassion (just like you did above) with the voice and even express non-judgmental love (regardless of what the voice says).  Just keep going and asking what is its’ positive intention, what is its positive purpose?  Eventually, while speaking as the “we/I”, it will give you an answer. Often times, you will just know the answer is true (the epiphany, or “ah-HA” moment).

Keep expressing that compassion and love (it is self-love, hard love at this point). After the voice softens, tell the voice you are willing to listen and work with it. That you might not do what it is advising, but you will always listen and consider its point of view. Notice how that changes the voice. Ask the voice, in compassion, acceptance and non-judgmental love how you can best work with it. Make suggestions, assure it that you will listen, ask it if there is a positive way it can be heard while meeting its core purpose. As it is speaking about you via the “I/We Voice”, remember, this is you talking to you.  Compassion directed at the Voice is compassion directed at Yourself.

 Keep expressing that love and compassion towards the voice. Eventually it will reflect that same love and compassion back to you.

Keep going and do not stop until you get a change (and you will).  It might take several sessions to get to a point where you can really work with the voice, but you will find out that it can bring tremendous changes to your day to day existence.

At the end of the session, LAUGH OUT LOUD. This is just to give you an extra boost after a potentially difficult time.  (Laughter is also an effective form of banishing).

What happens when you do this effectively? How can the self-compassion work change you?  Self-compassion towards your harshest internal critics softens all of the voices. Your internal obstacles start falling away. You gain room for growth and internalize positive motivational stimuli. This is significant movement towards greater and greater self-compassion and expression of self-love.

These methods of personification can be explained more comprehensively via some of the shadow and servitor work chapters of my book, Hands on Chaos Magic.

Next Week:   
Part II:  SELF-COMPASSION & PRACTICAL MAGIC:  so what does this do to your magic?


Breines, J. G., & Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin38(9), 1133-1143.

Goldstein, A. P., & Michaels, G. Y. (1985). Empathy: Development, training, and consequences.
Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Allen, A. B., & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 887-904. 

McDonagh, M. (n.d.). Mindfulness is something worse than just a smug middle-class trend
» The Spectator. Retrieved May 9, 2015, from http://www.spectator.co.uk/features/9355692/whats-wrong-with-mindfulness-more-than-you-might-think/

Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and identity, 2(2), 85-101.

Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K. L., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-compassion and adaptive psychological functioning. Journal of research in personality41(1), 139-154.

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