Sunday, April 15, 2012

Restarting the Spiritual Discipline

sisyphusNo Beef for this restart.  Sigh 40 days no beef.

1 hour Total Meditation Time
1 set of AUM as described back in the  AUM Technique
1 Aum Gam Ganapatye Svahaa
3 Mala of Mala Hreem Shreem Kleem Pah-rahm Esh-wah-ree Swah-hah

Effects:  This has been hard.  I wish someone could comment about this mantra, or I had a Guru to turn to on this one.  I mean its really hard.  If you read lots of books on spirituality healing, or development of psychic/spiritual skills, makes it seem like spirituality or a mantra discipline should be easy.  This one is very hard.  I am sure I do not have the pronunciation exactly correct but am getting noticeable effects.   First, the mantra is tough to get through, I have excellent mind-concentration yet while doing this mantra (the Hreem Shreem one), I lose it.  I am deep into the rhythm and I am somewhere else, usually a memory, a stray full sensory immersion into something else, other oddities like this.  Granted I am doing this under the auspicious aspects of Ganesh, so that gives me some confidence that I am on the right path, but I could really use someone to talk to for a bit who knows more then I about some of this work.  I might very well enchant for someone like that to come into my life, of course with the whole honest, and helpful specifications as well.

Also my sleep is radically deep, and it goes to dreamscapes that definitely indeed do go to what I consider full movie representations of some of the issues playing out, from memories in dreams, to full but related imaginations.  The dreams themselves deal with topics that mostly suck, I mean suck… however, the emotional negativity of the effects or situations are removed in the Dream.  Its much more like annoying then emotionally traumatizing.

Effects are Results, But are they what you were going for.

I cannot stress this phrase enough.  Many things can create effects,   I can shoot myself in the foot, this is probably not what I wanted to happen if this happens when I am trying to load the gun.  Some former “chaos magicians” who are claiming that results are not important, are either deliberately misleading people or have drunk their own cool-aid.   Although lots of Ceremonial magicians drank that cool-aid. Equally, batshit, is the people who claim there really isn’t any internal results or that does not matter or that magic can not make you a more adapted person.. again TOTAL.  BATSHIT ….

However, this problem of measurable progress is a difficult one for this.  The spiritual person will keep going in getting effects trusting that the universe will make the progress happen regardless of what is going on.  The Magician probably should have some idea where they are headed and take responsibility for the creation of their personal and external realities.  Inabilities to judge progress becomes very difficult for us more scientifically minded magicians.

Remember, I set out to infuse my body with more energy so I could work towards health.   In the eastern systems, negative emotions do hide out in the body, and serve as a block to health.  Revisiting those negative emotions as a result, may infact release them, but this is very hard to measure.  I know that many of you reading will say, measure smeasure….. just go with the flow ….  See foot shooting example again, its possible to have drastic negative magical effects even if you are doing something like this, and getting results.  Mixed or unclear results, and effects is probably more dangerous then nothing at all.

Intuitively, I think I am making progress…… but rationally, I can’t grasp it measurably.  My general magical and spiritual life combines on a low level the intuitive and the measurable.  It is why I believe I am that good of a freaking magician.  With Ganesh looking over this, I think so… However, I can’t really judge.  Again, getting effects is a good start…. but then more importantly is the effects what is wanted….. are the internal and external realities coming in sync with a personal vision.  Much harder to answer.


  1. Well, my response would be to ask whether you have had enough time to look back on the "before" to now and whether a) you do indeed have more energy and b) whether you feel that those emotions *are* truly being removed (and what those energetic effects are).

    That would be how I would guage progress/results.

    That may be something that can't be really grasped until after your 40 days are complete though.

    I'd compare this to an exercise program- it takes 12 weeks of consistency to *really* notice results physically. Likewise, with something like this, you may not notice progress until you are further through the discipline.

  2. In a very strange way it almost seems to me that you might not see the physical results until you give over to the acceptance that this is really a spiritual process that might not ever show physical results.

    It's not a matter of "going with the flow"

    You are getting so lost because you are being pushed beyond an ultimate limit, which for you might just be the magicians mentality. Or put another way control also is a limiting factor on what you can release.

    1. I generally get what you are saying and mostly agree in theory... but not with the wording...

      Why yes temporarily I might have flawed expectations, flawed and limiting beliefs... and this might be taking different paths then I expected, yet I am still doing it. AKA I have enough belief in the process to go through it despite weird results. Said another way, a concern is not a limit...Ill still do it... but I am very well aware of choppy waters...rarely can you control the HOW< I get that. That does not mean I wont keep going... I will... mostly trying to make sure that odd situations != self-injury.

      let me first be frank about the spirituality. ...though honest.

      Spirituality without measurable results is utter bullshit to me. Either there should be a change in the person's psyche, or a change in conditions around the person. Behavior is measurable and a real change in perspective changes the world. Either way shits got to change. Spiritual Processes that do not have an analogue in either internal state, or external state are simply put contemptible to me and at best are fantasy much like role playing. Even forming real relationships with spirits has this impact. Taking on the whole, these changes has to be measurable....however we can disagree on how or when it would be, or what we should be looking for. AND I will most certainly take people's commentary about that... So to say there is a spiritual process that is somehow completely disconnected with physical or emotional results, is a Descartian piece of logic I will never agree with. There is always a physical result if your doing anything, just not some that are predictable. hence my anal analysis and relentless analysis looking at oddities is a tangible way to look for, without judgement, some changes

      I definitely have those...

      And I am not alone in saying that, if there is a real reading of both Hindu, Alchemy texts, Ceremonial Texts.....
      although "Spiritual" paths.... everyone will specify spiritual achievement must reflects in the world. This is a basic hermetic principle.....
      I think its more of a sanity check honestly.


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