Monday, April 2, 2012

Spiritual Discipline Day 1: Writing and Mantra Attunement

Ganesh, Awesome and HARD CORE Task

Yesterday, I did the first day of the spiritual attuement for the mantra I am working with Phonetically:

Hreem Shreem Kleem Pah-rahm Esh-wah-ree Swah-hah

Ooch.  This really cut to the bone.  You might say, mantra work, cut to the bone?  Really Andrieh, come on.

Yes.  Yes it did.  

Through meditation I was instructed to do the following things.

  • 1 JapaMal of Aum with the energy motion associated with that  ( I will post how I do this later tonight )
  • 1 JapaMal of Aum gam ganapataye namah  ( which should be changed now to Aum gam ganapataye Swahah)
  • As many as I could do or up to 10 japamal of Hreem Shreem Kleem Pah-rahm Esh-wah-ree Swah-hah
The first two mantras went very well.  I got the energy flowing.  Felt Ganesh's presence very strongly.

When I am told in meditative communication do as many as I can do, I should already be concerned.  I did the first Mala (108) repetitions of the last mantra, and did memorize it.  On the second Mala, already I was stumbling.  I went so far into trance state, I could not remember the mantra.  I struggled, regained my composure and kept hammering at it.   

I struggled to keep going.  Afterwards, I was physically and emotionally drained and went directly sleep.  I got to about 6 Mala and physically could not continue, aka I was too tired. Apon Asking Ganesh if I could stop, I got Science from the Thoth deck a clear yes, although I dont know where I would have gotten the reserves if it was a no.  Ganesh is awesome, but is no easy Guru.

The Next day Today
Waking up was damn damn hard, and I fell into a dead sleep without remember-able dreams. I am still physically tired.  Mentally, I clearly have much cleaner focus.  Some of the issues, sorta are much clearer in my mind and what is actually going on.  Since the Mantra is supposed to bring in Shakti up through the spine, there is alot of physical aspects to this. However, what seemed to happen, is the aspecting to Shiva was far more prevalent then I had thought, and the dissection of mental process was gaining clarity before and now after this.

This mantra does not just pull the energy into the body, it empowers the body in many ways and allows the "seat" of the soul to be empowered to act.  That in non-metaphysical lingo means it allows the aspects of soul to be more expressed through the body.

The Issues That Come Into Focus
Writer, Your Wizards Staff is Broken and I have shredded your
Robes, Despair thee mighty one, for thou art fallen, and that's ok.
As one of the things that comes up as an author, is that I developed a inability to write about metaphysics.  I did not all think this was tied to physical things, but as you progress it clearly is.  This happens, but the reasons for this block were none of the normal reasons writers have problems.

First, I wasn't being totally a perfectionist.  Really, I wasn't.    I think I get a request to write another book every week.  Somewhere along the line I decided it wasn't really worth it, and that was in some way "demonic" which I will explain.

Writers do not make that much on books.  I have a career, and would like to get a business started.  In addition, the pagan and occulture has a high degree of, pardon my french, asshole behavior.  Everyone is a critic,there is little money and even though my natural tendency based on who walks with me in Vodou to basically tell people what they are doing is totally, well, destructive to others... I don't do that now, although when I did in the past, I meant it.  I did that before I was "the" Andrieh Vitimus. Trust me alot of people are doing alot of their that is simply put, vampiric, entrocpic and destructive.  They are lying about their purpose in public rituals, and ceremonies.    Goddess rituals that basically vampirize sexual energy for the preist and priestess.  Cursing others in a public ritual through creative links, so its harder to pin down who did the curse work... You name it, I have seen it.  Those people assume everyone is too stupid to get where the energies are going.   Some of us are not.

I don't really have a beef with darker magic, curse magic, destructive magic, any of it.  White Black, its all just a label.  I am a card carrying member of the Goetia club, and probably have earned a summer home in hell.  It does get to me that its always covered up within something else.  Underneath the brilliant new age light, the feeding frenzing of energy, money and attention is certainly going on.  Hell, if it wasn't so self-righteous in tone, Id even be ok with that.

The problem is that when everyone is a "priest" or "priestess", the people involved immediately when called to the carpet will attack the person.  That's just human nature.  But when confronted with what probably is an accurate portrayal, Well, just lie.  And cast magic.  Silence the critic.  Defame them, say its all lies.  And if it was lies, in the first place, it gets so confused, that who knows the truth.....  Recently, more bullshit occurred in one organization, I am loosely associated with and probably going to leave, because one person couldn't fuck someone else, in a sex magic ritual..... because I had 10 years ago got into it with people who were again openly lying about what they were doing, the purpose and why.. and those people basically didn't want their pet used by someone associated with me.  So because the person couldn't get laid, in a sex magic ritual, by a pet of that group that was doing pretty nasty stuff under the table, they turned on me too.  Because that's for many people all that magic and paganism is about.  Cults of personality, drugs, attention, and sex.  AKA where are the results, spirituality, or even thinking?

This and a host of other things led to me saying Occultists and pagans are in general the scum of the earth.  Those that should know better, willfully choose ignorance.  People have heard me say that in private. Thats mostly said in anger, and I don't really believe that out of all pagans. Now I know Christians are as bad, but more are unknowingly ignorant, and rest assured, those that are not pray to Jesus to take out their enemies too.  I made the decision to stay silent about any of it to further my "author" career, and resigned myself to meet better people although career is hardly a good word, since see money point above.

 It becomes a "why bother for these people game"....  Some authors just do it for acclaim.  They love it.  I have a family, I make a decent wage and I don't care about the acclaim.  That is just another false drug and addiction.  It simply doesn't produce results and is simply another demon in the process of alchemy.   While I love positive attention, I neither need others nor require the acclaim or others to do very good magic.

Except I went to school initially in my life for English Writing.  Creative Writing.  
Yes, all the grammar errors aside, GOD and GODDESS BLESS my copy-editors.
So clearly I had intended to write.  When we did further, guess what, I keep coming back to the writing.......and doing it, despite my contempt.  I keep coming back to it ALOT.

The real issue isn't THEM or the community... once cannot complain about the scorpion that stings the fox.  One can however, fault oneself, when one knowingly drinks the poison.  
Whats the poison here, 

Resentment.  The Other people do not matter, but that I changed my behavior to make it so they did.

HOW THE HELL does this relate to Physical Shakti Energy
Great question, glad I asked myself this.

There are few points.  First Hinduism generally like many eastern philosophies believe that the negative emotions store in the body and subconscious.   This should not really be a surprise to anyone who has done any energy healing or work.  Chinese Medicine, Reiki, Prana work and other traditions all agree basically on this point, and various flavors of shamanism all agree with this.  Sustained negative emotions gather in and pool in the body, poisoning the subconscious mind and causing illness.

Shakti energy is the energy of the Combined Goddess herself.  Thats a more difficult concept then I can explain in one blog.  The energy moves through channels upward.   Generally a cursory search on Kundalini will give you that information.  The Shakti energy purifies the energy system raising the process of bringing the body closer and closer to TRUTH, God, all that is, etc.

There are many books that discuss the endless philosophies about this or what that means.  In practice though, the mantra was working and was purifying a long history of that emotional toxin.  Sleep, body fatigue, aka purification... all results.

In practice what does that mean, well it means, detoxing the emotional problems that block someone from reaching toward what Crowley would say is Will.    In practice, this is the hard work of transformation that comes with the act of doing it.

1 comment:

  1. One of the reasons I will likely never join a lodge. Too much bulshit.


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